05/09/2010 Labor Day ramblings…

Life has certainly been humbling in the last year or so.  I crashed from a  high-end lifestyle to one where I literally had to make due with what the State provided.  What was in savings was used quickly and whatever was in the 401k ..well what was left from the disastrous downhill slide of stock from AIG did not last long.

My daughter had the most difficult time adjusting. I was always able to provide her with anything – now I said NO a lot.  Mom was used to my never needing help.  Mostly, it was made clear to me that “family” really is an accident of birth.  The only ones that even offered to help were my Mom and brother.  Yes, I heard the rantings of Mom but I grew to understand her better.  I guess, after all that is said and done,  that is a very positive result of this past year.  My brother was a surprise.  He is more like Dad than he realized – until I pointed out a few things.  He finally grew to appreciate Dad – now that he is gone – my brother realized he should have understood better.  Sadly, that is life.

What I will say – is that I found myself.  It no longer matters to me how my family sees me.  It no longer matters that I do not have the latest toys.  It no longer matters on many levels.  What matters is the way I see life and live it.  How I do my work – and yes – I finally have work now.

Mostly – it is the knowledge that I did not give up.  I wanted to many times but I kept going.

Oh..and family – well that turned out to be my friends who stuck by me and encouraged me.  They themselves had issues but they took the time to help me.  Now, THAT is Family.