23/05/2010 A small break

I took  a couple of days to refresh and revive.  It was a good weekend to do so.  Today is Dad’s birthday.  I traveled to two places my father always enjoyed.  The mountains and the ocean.  What better way than to drive through the state of California up to San Jose then across to Big Sur via Carmel.  The coastline in California is beautiful as are the beaches of Carmel.

I stopped in San Jose for me.  The Winchester Mystery House has always been a fascination with me.  Call me crazy but I love the spookiness of it-the mystery of all the things that went through the widows mind.  I always stop there when I go north, it is worth the stop.

This last week has been filled with many things; graduation, hackers, rebuilding what I lost and yes..Dad’s birthday.  More importantly-his birthday.  Though he has been gone for 18 months 2 days..need I put the hours and minutes?  Naw…not necessary.  I have felt his spirit close by and I am no longer sad and weepy.  I can now think of Dad the way he would want me to think of him…laughing and me without tears.

Life has continued despite all the hurt and pain caused by losing Dad.  The happiness of my daughter’s graduation where many things came to her from him…yes he prepared his gift to her many months before his death.  She felt his presence as well and she remembered him well.

I can honestly say that I felt Dad with me as I walked along the shoreline.  I also felt him stay there allowing me to leave with no guilt or remorse.

Daddy…Happy Birthday…you are always with me.  Even with some tears but only because I miss you.  I have come to accept that you are gone but I carry you always in my heart.  I am glad that I took a small break to be with you on this weekend.